I’m a Displaced Stay-at-Home Mom

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I love being a mom. I have had the privilege to be a stay-at-home mom since my son was born 7 years ago. I just love being with my kids, we have had a lot of fun times.

I always kept my son and daughter busy since I was never really a “stay-at-home” mom but a “on-the-go” mom. We were always at the library, zoo, playground, park, bookstores for story time, shopping, taking walks, and other running around.  There are so many educational programs through our Library, Metro Parks, Hale Farm, Stan Hywet Hall, and book stores that you can’t even take advantage of 10% of them. I loved finding those places. I also like just playing with my kids at home.

Here is a snapshot of this past year.

Displaced at home

My son is in 2nd grade and my daughter is in full day kindergarten this year. I knew that it would be hard to have both my kids in school but I had no idea how displaced I would feel. For the past 7 years, I have devoted most of my time to caring for my children. Now, I’m not sure what my role is. My ‘stay-at-home-mom’ role has drastically changed on the first day of school.

First off, the best secret to helping your kids and you adjust to your kids going to school is to help at the school. Schools always need help getting kids off the bus and to the right classroom and again from their classroom to the bus after school. I have done this for 3 years now and enjoy it every time. It gives me the chance to see that my kids made it ok on the bus – with or without tears (thankfully none this year!). It is reassuring for my kids to see me there when they get to school. I think it mostly just helps me to feel like I didn’t let go of them at the bus stop. I felt secure knowing they were happy once they got to school.

So, this year, I helped my son’s school a couple times and about a week at my daughter’s school. I didn’t cry when my kids got on the bus because they weren’t leaving me then, I knew I’d see them at school. It was easier leaving their schools, knowing they were where they needed to be. Then, I’d go home to my empty house. Or I’d go to the store and find myself “alone” while other moms totted their kids all around. It feels weird.

The biggest change is that my role in life is not a stay-at-home mom anymore. Not really. I don’t have two little ones to care for all day long. Weird. I didn’t expect the feeling of being displaced.

What to do now

In August, I let things go in my house. My house is mostly clean but not deep-down clean and it is so unorganized. I had decided to focus all my time on playing with my kids and enjoying the rest of summer. I’m glad I did. I had planned on really getting my house clean and organized once my kids went to school. It took about 3 hours on the first day of school to clean the entire downstairs. What am I suppose to do the rest of the school year? LOL

My plan:

  • Organize every room in the house – toss out or give away old clothes, toys, etc
  • Deep clean everything
  • Home Remodeling! There is plenty, plenty to do! Here are a few things I can do now:
    • paint dining room
    • seal grout in foyer
    • paint trim in living room
    • lay tile, and paint utility room
  • Blog! I have a LOT of blogging to do to catch up on from the lazy month of August I had. :)
  • Freelance write – I have a couple freelance writing jobs, I’d love to have more
  • Take care of my kids – when they are home. :)
  • Volunteer at both kids’ schools
  • Join Bible Study at church
  • Join the gym

That is a pretty good list, right? I have plenty to do, plenty of goals. I’m not sitting at home being depressed or watching TV all day – or at all. I must admit that I do feel displaced still, even after 4 whole days of my kids being in school! The weekend was great because I had my kids back. We went to the pool and it felt as carefree as summer. But then Monday came again and my kids left me…

Reinvent myself

My friend, Beth and I were talking and she said it sounds like I need to re-invent myself. I need to discover who I am now and change where I need to change. I think it is ok for me to feel a little displaced as my life has dramatically changed in just 1 day. However, I need to move forward. I need to continue to be the best mom that I can be to my kids, while taking on this new, undefined role in my life.

What is your advice?

How have you reinvented yourself? Have you gone from being a stay-at-home mom to a fill-in-the-blank mom? How did you do it? Do you have any advice for moms like me who are still trying to find their way?

 
 
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