New Years Resolution… Hmmmm…. Hmmm……Weight Loss, that’s fattening. Get organized, need to. Be a better mom, everyday goal. Blog More? Blog LESS? What can I do to IMPROVE my life? This year I am going to improve on friendships- and tell you how I am going to tackle it.
Bonds between two human beings are exciting to unearth. Have you ever met someone who shares the love for the same obscure sport? Who read the same author as you while in Junior High? Or maybe you met the President of the Indonesian “New Kids on the Block” Fan Club who has emigrated here to the USA and you LOVE that band. Commonalities between people are the actual strings that hold us two far off people together.
So the simple stupid question is Where can you dig up this discovery? Better- where can you NOT? Under the surface of our running about, there are 100s of people that you pass in the grocery store, at the post office, waiting in line at Kohl’s, watching your kids soccer game, sitting next to you at church- that SHARE connections with you.
The hard part is getting to that conversation. You have to see it as an opportunity– not as a way to just spend your time while you’re bored. Let me say that again – its an opportunity, it’s an opportunity!! Put yourself out there- and make that genuine commitment to strike up that conversation!
This could be your CHANCE (there’s NO guarantees here !) to create a new bond. But it has to be strong enough to extend past the grocery store line or the pew. Have your contact information handy for people – get yourself a mommy card, tell them about your blog, just find a way to extend the conversation.
Maybe you need help with that first conversation? I guess you need me to tell you how to start those awkward conversations.
Starting awkward conversations with strangers
It’s really about garnering an instinct for friendship. I’m not telling you to be a fool and rush headlong into a click of women sitting toe to to around a table at the kiddie park, no. What I’m talking about again is making use of those every day moments, and those not so every day moments like the library, the bargain aisle at Marc’s, or your husband’s Work Christmas Party. These may not feel like the right situations to start conversations- but they are EXACTLY the right places- why? Because EVERYWHERE is the right place!
OK Here’s how it works: Scan your friendship radar around – does anybody look interesting? Is anyone reading a book by your favorite author? That you can comment on? Did your partner in produce just buy 6 pounds of broccoli – and do you have a prize winning broccoli soup recipe? Or does someone else have a 3 year old and a jogging stroller and you’d love to find out if it’s a good one? These, as awkardly simple as it is, are potential friends. Make use of that opportunity- that thought in your head – and start with a single sentence. Grunts don’t work- full sentences– and a smile!
With all that said..
Yikes I just read what I wrote- and I sound like a crazy woman screaming after people asking them to read my blog! Its not like that (although I did tell LOTS of people about my Pillsbury Contest- don’t worry -voting is closed as of yesterday!). But you just have to try- and look at passing connections as opportunities for stronger ones.
I have a pile of other ideas to share with you. Friend us on Facebook and follow along for updates- at worst you might pick up a New Years Resolution that you can keep – and will benefit from.
Making Meaningful Connections
A couple of years ago my husband bought me a book- The Art of Friendship, by Roger and Sally Horchow. The book provides “70 simple rules for making meaningful connections.” It was a simple book chocked full of ideas regarding how to make more friendships, and develop deeper friendships.
4 thoughts on “First of many Tips on creating Tight Relationships and Friendships”
Nice to hear that your friendship went beyond the playground and occasional playdate for the kids! I agree that as a new mom, you initially look for kids for your babies to interact with but in the end, it’s just nice to have another mom to talk to! You never know where your next best friends will show up!
It’s true! It just takes a little effort to be the first one to strike up a conversation–you can tell right away if others are interested or not. For me, my best friendships developed out of playgroups for my kids (truthfully, I think I needed the companionship more than my 18 month old!), and little classes like tot-time at the library, or a movement class for my girls. But it didn’t happen w/out any effort. I started the playgroup, was it’s organizer, and out of it, started an adult-only supper club that meets every 2 months. It feeds my soul (and my husband’s), and I leave each get together wanting more time with these amazing friends! Stepping out of one’s comfort zone can be so rewarding! 🙂
Thanks, Rae. Talking about my blog is an easy way for me to strike up a conversation but it could be taken as a crazy woman with a blog. lol Thanks for being a long-term blog reader. 🙂
“I sound like a crazy woman screaming after people asking them to read my blog!”
LOL!! We are our harshest critics! Great article, Cindy!